


What Kalira Knew

by ariadneowl



Category: Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Kalira's POV, literal fiery rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 08:44:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3804109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariadneowl/pseuds/ariadneowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some part of her always knew they wouldn't have long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Unease

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on Mercedes Lackey's Brightly Burning. The last line is a direct quote.  
> Constructive criticism is welcome, but please be gentle, because this is my first ever fic.

      Every now and then, Kalira felt terribly uneasy. It was unpredictable and altogether unsettling, varying in frequency, strength, duration, and just about everything else. There was no obvious cause, and there seemed to be neither rhyme nor reason to it. The feeling had come upon her as frequently as twice in a candlemark, but it had been days since she felt it last. Maybe it had stopped…?

        No sooner had Kalira finished that thought than the unease came back tenfold, joined by feelings of rage, hate, and despair that were not her own. The emotions filled her mind, driving out all thought as they increased in strength. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the storm of negative emotions ceased as abruptly as it had begun, leaving her alone with her own battered emotions…and the beginnings of her Call.

       Four and half days later, the unease returned full force, and Kalira knew it was time to heed her Call. She was needed. He was Lan, and he would be her life, and she his.

_: I love you, Lan. I Choose you. I am Kalira, and I will never leave you. :_


	2. Unwelcome Knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some part of her always knew they wouldn't have long.

     Deep, deep down, some small part of Kalira, a part that she tried desperately to ignore, knew that she and Lan would not have much time together. It was simply logic, cold implacable logic, and oh, how it hurt.

     The gods gave Gifts that were needed. That Herald Lavan had the strongest firestarting Gift the Collegium had ever seen, unmatched in its destructive potential, most likely meant that the war with Karse, which had been looming on the horizon for decades, would happen soon. There was no guarantee that they would live through the war; Karsites were particularly hard on Heralds and Companions. Even if Valdemar won the war, and even if they survived it, what would become of her gentle Chosen after he used his power to kill? For a mere boy to have that much power and responsibility… Lavan’s gift was not meant for peacetime.

     And then there was the lifebond. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and a lifebond was surely the only way Kalira could ever have been close enough to Lan to control his Gift. He was her heart, her soul, and she could never live without him…but the opposite was also true. He could never love a human woman as anything but a sister, and being lifebound to a Companion would doubtless cause problems when he grew up…if he had a chance to. The situation felt like a temporary measure thought up by some god, but lifebonds weren’t temporary; they ended only with death, and she feared that that would be the case.

     Some part of Kalira knew that she and Lan would not live to see the end of the war that was to come, but the rest of her hoped desperately otherwise, and hoped in vain.


	3. In the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter may be a reference to the Black Veil Brides song.   
> Kalira's line is, of course, a direct quote.

     Looking back, the attack on Herald Pol was the beginning of the end. Lan resolved to never again hesitate before using his Gift to kill, and with every life he took he slipped away from her a little more. Kalira pretended not to notice; there was no other choice. She comforted herself with the thought he did not truly wish to kill, even as she helped him do so.

     And then Lan was holding the pass all by himself against the Karsites _and he wasn’t going to be enough and they all knew it and he burned and burned men and a part of him died with every scream, until he wasn’t her gentle, sweet Chosen anymore; he was the Dragon and he laughed and took a wild, savage joy in their deaths_ and for the first time, Kalira was afraid of him.

     But her beloved Chosen was in there somewhere and she knew he would never hurt her, _she just didn’t know if anyone else was safe, but if he knew she was afraid he would be too, so she couldn’t let him know because he trusted her to keep the Dragon under control and if he was afraid, it would devour them both._ So she tried to be the voice of reason, but the Dragon didn’t listen and there was nothing more she could do. She was no Gala; her Chosen needed her more now than ever before and she promised she would never leave him, but he wasn’t her gentle Lan anymore _and none of it mattered because there was a BLINDING PAIN and she tried to warn him but it was already too late because the Dragon couldn’t hear her and when she died her beloved would too because they were twice-bound_ so she did the only thing she could and said

_:–I – love – you–:_

     Before Kalira was pulled into the dark, she had time to think that some part of her had always known it would end this way, that it would hurt this much, that they would never grow old together. Then, she knew no more.


End file.
